Today is the start of Phase One in my plan for world domination heehee! Actually not, I am going to start with my training for the Impi Challenge (that 12km obstacle course race that I am going to be doing) and so I need to get fit and make the changes that I need to do! Yesterday I ran for about 1km and I was fine! A little out of breath but I was fine! I did the happy dance and was a little proud of myself! This couch potato isn’t as unfit as I thought I was. Am I crazy to be doing this, hell yeah, am I shit scared, a little but I believe that I can set my mind onto anything that I want to so why not! This mama is going to show all those friends and family that are now coming to support me on the day that I can do this! I’m going to take that course on that the ex-SA Special Forces commander has made and be covered in mud but by George I am going to do it! It’s just change and this change will be good for my body and me! It also helps with my other challenge that I had set myself in that I want to be one pants size smaller and buy that elusive swimming costume that I want to wear for the summer when B and I are going to go swimming. No more hiding. What’s the point anyway? This mama is gonna show off her sexy body and with the weight that I have lost so far, I am loving the comments when people you haven’t seen for a long time tell you “Wow, where is the rest of you!”. It makes me smile and feel proud of what I have accomplished!
On Saturday, I went through to Cape Town with a friend and while she worked, I walked around my beloved city! I had breakfast at the Waterfront and I felt a bit nostalgic when I looked at the bench that my besties and I would sit on in the sun during lunch or when I saw our Subway take-away place and remembered all those Meatball Marinas we would have. I walked to the city centre (any form of exercise is good) and I remembered so many fond memories of the place. I went to all my favourite shops and found some crazy new ones that made me smile. I ended up in the Company Gardens and sat at the place where years ago we had a family picnic and I went through all the old memories from living there and the times that I spent working, walking and discovering. It was a little hard but you know what, like my friend said “You have faced a big challenge today and one that not many people would do willingly or so easily”. Did I die, nope, was I sad, a little, did I make myself new memories in a place that holds so many from the past, yes. And that was enough for me. I proved to myself that I am getting stronger and stronger and that I have so much to be grateful for. I showed myself that I am resilient and that I can deal with emotions so much better than I did in the past. I am doing this for myself and being there for me and filling my cup up with happiness and not expecting other people to do it for me because while there are often people around me, I am alone with myself and I need to be able to deal with that which comes my way. That has been a big step for me and one that I know I will benefit from in the long run. If you told me I would be in the emotional space that I am now, a month ago, I would have told you you are crazy! But like that horrible saying “Time heals all wounds”, it is in fact the time and the permission that I am giving myself to feel my emotions and to deal with them that is healing me.
So here is to the start of my new challenge and my improved form of thinking. Here’s to the memories I will be making and the weight I will be losing. Here is to the friends that I will be making and the old ones that will never be going anywhere (won’t let them anyway). Here is to happiness and the love that is out there! Here is to dreams and hopes and plans. Here is to B and what I will be teaching her. Here is to me.